Before I got saved, I was Muslim. I grew up with my mother and two older sisters.
My mother raised us as a single parent living in a foreign country, so it was really hard for her. She felt wronged and took out all of her anger on us.
I really loved her, but as I became aware of how much she was hurting me and my sisters, the love I had for her was covered with frustration. I sometimes thought that it would be better if we lived without her.
I learned about Christianity when I was 10. I was pleased to know that there is a God who can protect you from your enemies. At the time, I felt like my mom was my enemy since she always hurt me.
After I got saved, however, I understood that my battle is not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12). It was the devil who wanted me to hold onto the frustration, and this held me from receiving all the joy that is found in Jesus.
I started to pray to God to help me let go of all the anger I had towards my mom. I learned that to fully experience grace you have to show grace, too. When I wasn’t forgiving, I was trying to rule over my heart and decide which parts I wanted God to have. I wasn’t wholly submitting myself to the Lord’s will.
Forgiving wasn’t, and it still isn’t an easy journey, but I am grateful for the peace and joy I have found in forgiving.