Honor Your Father and Mother

Good morning. My name is Ben Lander, one of the pastors here. So glad to see you all this morning. And we are indeed working through the 10 commandments. So for those of you parents, especially the parents who have kids in the room Today, today is the commandment you’ve been waiting for. Right? Honor your father and mother. So give them a nudge, tell him, Hey, listen up, Pay attention. This is this is the good one, right? I think this is the commandment I had my kids memorize first right? I’m joking, but I did have them memorize Ephesians 61 through two is the first verse that they memorized, which is linked to this commandment, which is Children, obey your parents in the Lord. For this is right. So anyway, excited to be talking this morning about this fifth commandments of honor, your father and your mother. It is we’ve been working through all 10 of these in exodus chapter 20 And the first four commandments deal with our relationship with God and who God is. And then the last six start working through our relationships with each other and our commandments relating to loving each other and our neighbor and jesus summarized them and love your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. And so we’re working through these And this fifth commandments does kind of have as a connection here. It’s a transition from these first four which were focused on God to the next six, which our relationships with each other and the order is intentional as linked. And and we’ll see that, I love this quote from john Schultz here, who says our love for God will determine our love for our neighbor and our love for our neighbor is an indication of the depth and reality of our love for God. There is a connection between these two and our relationship with God and his provision of grace and himself is really what allows us to then go and extend love to our neighbor to obey. These commands are our connection to our Lord and the power of the Holy Spirits and our relationship with him is what allows us to carry these out. But today, the fifth commandment is honor your father and mother and it’s the first commandment focused on people and it comes with a unique thing which is a promise is the only commandment that has a promise. And so we’re gonna be looking at those things, but the command is to honor your father and your mother and I wanted to share a brief story as we begin here about how this has been so beneficial to me in my life. Um when I was in college, I wanted to, you know, do church work, I wanted to help people, I wanted to become a pastor and I wanted to start a business, I had this entrepreneurial spirit, I still do and so I was like, I don’t, I don’t need a degree to do that stuff. I want to have more time available to, to share jesus with people and to disciple people and to do, you know, help the church out and all of this stuff and I want to start this furniture clean company, which will allow me for more flexibility to help people, so I don’t need a degree. So I went to my parents and I was like, hey, I mean I’m gonna, I want to quit school and they said to me, they said, I don’t want you to do that, don’t do that. And they said, yeah, I know that you want to do all this other stuff and start this business and you don’t, you know, don’t need a degree for that. But there’s a lot of things that you learn as you earn a degree, it’s a hard work and you learn about the character and finishing something that you start and it’s also an opportunity for you to have a backup plan in case you’re something terrible happens later in life. And so I wrestled with that, but I decided to honor my, my father and mother and to finish the degree. And so I got an accounting degree and then immediately after graduating I moved here, I started working for the church, I started a furniture cleaning company and it was going great. And then after about seven years, 2007, the Great Recession happens economy crashed business is the first thing they give up is their furniture cleaning right? When when they’re having hard times and also lost a number of ministry partners in the church work that I was doing. And so my wife and I, we had two little kids. She was pregnant with the third. We were barely making it week to week, month to month. It was very difficult financial times. And I just, the Lord led me at that point and say, you know what, I need a job, a different job. And so I applied for a job and accounting job at the university. And the only reason I qualified for that job is because I had this accounting degree. The Lord poured out blessing and provided that job for us. And now I’ve been at the university of 14 years and I’m so thankful that I listened to my parents finish that degree out. God has blessed us and blessed me through that job and and taught me so much. It’s just been a blessing because I’m honored, my father and mother. I listened to their wisdom and their exhortation. So today we’re gonna look at with this fifth commandment. We’re gonna look at the command itself. We’re gonna look at the principal Because the principles expanded throughout the rest of scripture. We’re gonna look at the promise and then we’re gonna look at practical applications. Those are the four different things. We’re gonna look at the command. The principle. The promise and practical applications. Okay, so let’s pray and then we’ll dive into exodus 20 verse 12. But we do come to you this morning and we ask you to speak to us. We thank you for your word. We thank you that you give us practical aspects that we can do in life and and obey. So we just ask you to help us this morning and speak to us in jesus name. Amen. Okay, so exodus chapter 20 verse 12 says honor your father and mother so that you may have a long life in the lands that the Lord your God is giving you honor your father and mother. That you may have a long life in the land. The Lord your God is giving you. Okay, so the command is to honor. So what does it mean to honor? We need to look at that a little bit. If you look up some of the definitions of the word honor in the english dictionaries, you see things like high respect, great esteem regard with, with our respect to fulfill or keep an obligation or agreement. Things like that. Uh that word honor is key part of obeying this. And so what does honor mean? Uh it’s it’s kind of that have that respect and awe and esteem towards who command says towards your father and your mother. Now when God created the first man, the first woman adam and Eve, uh he he set up family as the foundation of society. Father and mother is an incredible importance of family. Families. The base structure of society. God created everything all of the animals, all the plants, stars, lights on all that. He created all that. He looked around and then he said oh this is good. But then he looked at adam, he looked at man and he said this is not good, that’s the first time God said something is not good and because man was alone and so what God did then was he out of man? He created woman and he brought that to completion and he instituted marriage. He instituted the family and then it was good. It’s not good for man to be alone. It is good for man and woman. So he created marriage. He created this as a base of society fathers and mothers that’s that’s the perfect and secure an ideal environment to raise Children in. And so we need to take that seriously. Kids learn about God and who God is because he created them in the image of God, male and female in the image of God. He created them. So we see attributes about who God is, what he is like from man and woman from male and female. And we reflect the image of God. And so our kids when we’re really young or when they’re young. That’s the first picture that they see about who God is and what he’s like. And so God put that into place God is also described as our heavenly father. Right? And so there’s a correlation between honoring your father and mother, honoring God our father and and all of that. And sin has impacted it greatly. There is Brokenness and broken families. There’s dysfunction that’s introduced anytime Sin is introduced. Every family has issues. Our family, my family has issues. Every family has struggles and our family has struggles and we desperately need the gospel and we need God. And that’s what these commands reveal, right? No parent is the perfect reflection of God in their relationships with their Children. And no Children is the perfect reflection of God in their relationship to their parents and their obedience of their parents, right? We all break the command. We all disobey. But it’s interesting, God knew that and he still gives us the commandment honor your father and your mother in spite of their imperfection. This command is still in place even though we’re imperfect, even though we mess up, even though we screw up and there is a lot of dysfunction and in our society we have that all the time. There’s Brokenness caused by sin and fathers take off and kids don’t see their fathers, marriages break up and and all of that. But but God has still instituted this commands. And when we honor our parents, we honor heavenly father. And there’s a blessing that comes with them. We’ll talk about that more. So honor your father and mother are listing this commands. But the scripture has also expanded that. Okay, so I want to look at that next. So that’s the command. But the principle also is expanded and so it’s to to honor authorities. God has put authority is in place. And so if you look at Romans chapter 13 for example, um in starting verse one, it talks about how we should submit to governing authorities to those who are over us because authorities are put in place by God. Okay, they are instituted by God. And so the one who resists authorities is resisting God himself is imposing God’s commands. 2nd Peter also says, Hey submit yourself for the Lord’s sake to every human institution as to the king or governors, that kind of thing. And so not only are we to honor our parents, but the principle there is expanded to honor the authorities that God has put into our lives and in doing so we honor our heavenly father. And so the fifth commandment, even though it’s specifically applied to parents, it also has expanded throughout the rest of scripture um into authorities as well. So not only are parents or authorities and and that also includes then a blessing. So we need to look at the blessing here a little bit because the blessing explains some of the why? So honor your father and mother because this is a there’s a blessing and so when we honor the authorities in our lives, when we honor our parents, God pours out a promise and a blessing and that’s the incredible thing is this command comes with a promise. Now the Israelites that heard this command for the first time, they were wandering around in the wilderness, they were in the desert and they were getting ready to go into the promised land that God had promised them. And so he’s saying to them, honor your father and mother. So it may go well with you in this land that you’re about to enter the promised land. And there’s a connection there between the Israelites and if they would keep and obey God’s commands, then multiple generations onward would then be able to live in that land and experience God’s blessing. So the first command here exodus 20 specifically was to the people of Israel and and it involved this land of Canaan And the land that God was giving to them. And you can see in Leviticus 26, you can look that up later how the blessing is connected to God’s to obeying God’s commands. But we also see as we continue to look through the rest of the scriptures that the apostle Paul in Ephesians chapter six expands this beyond just the land of Israel for you and I. So Ephesians 61 and two says Children obey your parents in the Lord because this is right, honor your father and mother, which is the first command with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the lands, it’s not referring paul is not referring to the land of Israel, but he’s referring to the earth. This this word in the land can also be translated in the earth. So he expands it for you and I because we are not in the land of Israel, right? He expands it. There’s this blessing of long life on the earth and that phrase inherit the land is a significant phrase to and it’s found all over scripture. I just want to give you briefly an example from psalm 37 how again, this this concept, this blessing and it’s so incredible, it’s huge. It’s not just for the people of Israel and the land of Israel, it’s for you and I as we honor authorities, as we honor our parents For not only life here in the search but also the one that comes. So let’s look at this psalm, 37. here’s a couple of verses, those who put their hope in the Lord will inherit the lands, the humble will inherit the land and enjoy abundant prosperity. So being humble and um and putting their hope in the Lord is connected to inheriting the land. Then verse 18, Lord watches over the blameless all their days and their inheritance will last Forever. That’s an interesting phrase, they’re connected to this inheriting land. Their inheritance will last forever. That also involves eternity for those who are righteous and that righteousness happens through the Gospel. And then verse 29, the righteous will inherit the land and will dwell in it permanently. So not only is there a blessing here in this earth, but there’s also the blessing of heaven to come, this eternal lands, this eternal place. And so this promise, it’s not just for Israel, but it’s also for us having a long life on this earth entering into the eternal promised land of heaven, which is ours for all eternity. And that’s incredible to honor your father and mother is the first command with a promise that it may go well with you in the land. It’s a, it’s an incredible thing. And so that’s kind of the base and the foundation of what the command is. The principle behind the command, not just applying to our parents, but also to authorities and then how it is this blessing that’s expanded now when I was when I was a kid, I just want to share another story here about the authorities piece. I learned very quickly that it’s it’s there’s a blessing to honor your authorities and a curse not to. Uh and so I lived up in Wisconsin, a buddy of mine decided to go to this park, Lots of snow. We’re like, you know, playing around the park in the snow, trying to sled. Things like that. And we’re like, oh there’s this sign right at the front of the park. We should make a bunch of snowballs and this would be really fun where we, we hide behind the sign. We listen for cars. And then we pop up and we throw snowballs at the cars when the cars come into the entrance of the park. Right? And so so we’re doing that, we’re having fun. We’re listening for cars and then we hear this car coming, we jump up and we start throwing snowballs and then we see it’s a police car. And so my buddy and I learned very quickly that it’s very important to honor the authorities, uh, that, that are put over us and we learned so through the police there, but there’s a there’s a blessing to avoid that. There’s also consequences for not to. Okay. But so so as we want to now as believers to okay, how do we do this? How do we honor our father and mother? How do we honor the authorities in our lives? What does it look like? So the rest of this message is focusing in on this practical application. What do the scriptures say? How do we carry this out? And how is it even possible to carry this out? Okay, so there’s a number of instructions that you see throughout scriptures, The book of proverbs tells a lot of things about the relationship between fathers and and mothers and kids. So listening to your father’s instructions from proverbs one and not forsaking your mother’s teaching, right, those kinds of things. Uh listening to them. Children Obey your parents in the Lord. For this is right. It is right for us to obey our parents submit to one another out of reverence for Christ in our relationship with each other Ephesians five. And then in Matthew 22, Jesus says, Hey, pay to Caesar. What’s Caesar’s pay to God? What is God’s those kinds of things are And there’s many, many more verses talking about our relationship with authorities. Our relationship with our parents, the Heidelberg Catechism I think is really helpful to this. Um you know, what does God require in the 5th commandment. It’s too to show the answers that I show all honor and love and fidelity to my father and mother and all in authority over me to submit myself to their good instruction and correction with due obedience. And to patiently bear with their weakness and infirmities. Since it pleases God to govern us by their hands. There’s a number of things there that you see right? You see listening to their instruction kind of like what I talked about with my my parents and and submitting to their correction, obeying them and also patiently bearing with their weaknesses and infirmities. Now that’s that’s not only as they get older and have more infirmities and become more frail as they prepare to pass from this life to the next, but it’s also with their weaknesses when it comes to sin As I mentioned, the command is still there for us to obey our parents to honor our parents even though they screw up even though they mess up even though they make mistakes even though they sin, it’s to bear with their weakness and their infirmities and then to take care of them physically as well. And and so um to kind of summarize this, what does it look like to honor your parents is to listen to their advice and to obey them and as they get older to care and provide for them. In fact, jesus himself, he rebuked the Pharisees because the Pharisees were giving people a way out Of not caring for and providing for their parents. And you see that Matthew chapter 15 there’s a story Jesus talking to the Pharisees and he calls them out, he says, why why do you break God’s commandments Because of traditions for God said honor your father and mother and whoever speaks evil of his father and mother must be put to death. But you hypocrites, you Pharisees, you say whoever tells his father and mother whatever benefits you might have received from me as a gift to committed to the temple. He doesn’t have to honor his father and mother. So the Pharisees were basically saying, hey give money to us, give money to the temple and then you don’t have to take care of your parents. And so these parents were suffering and uh and the kids weren’t feeling bad about it because they’re like hey we gave some money, we gave some money to the temple, so we’re good and jesus calls him out and says hey hypocrites, so so we need to honor our father and mother, we need to take care of them, not only just listen to them, they took care of us when we were little and couldn’t take care of ourselves and we need to help take care of them when they get to that point. Um jesus himself, he submitted to his and followed his parents, that’s the example he provided for us right? And he did it perfectly because he was God. So he submitted to their care and authority and luke to you see that Uh he obeyed his father’s commands, he obeyed them all all these 10 commandments and everything. He obeyed perfectly and he, he did not sin once and he even said, Hey can anybody accuse me of sin and nobody could. He listened to his heavenly father’s guidance, Jesus said in John five, I only do what I see the father doing. He was constantly looking constantly getting guidance from his heavenly father and then doing those things obeying him all the time. And then even on the cross, jesus was right there on the cross and he looked at john and he said, hey care for her as you would your own mother. So he was taking care of his mom, making sure that she was being provided for as he died. And so jesus did those things. He honored his parents so listening and respecting and honoring and obeying them. And, and so those are some practical applications for how we honor our parents, even when they’re imperfect, even when it’s difficult to do so um, there’s a blessing. Okay now honoring authorities. Let’s look at honoring your boss. A lot of times you have bosses. Sometimes you have good bosses, Sometimes you have bad bosses, sometimes you have a boss who’s a jerk and so how do you honor your boss? Even when they’re a jerk, how do you honor boss if they’re a good boss? There are some things in scripture that speaks to that first is to be a great worker. Work hard, caution three right, work hard as for serving the Lord and not people, we have the opportunity to honor our employer to honor our boss by being a good worker. Um It’s also important to speak well of your boss even if even if they’re not great. I remember one time, a few years ago at the university I stepped into the elevator and I was strike up a conversation person there and they said, oh where you work? And I said, hey, I’m in this college and that kind of thing and they’re like, oh that must mean so and so is your boss. And I was like yes yes they are. And they immediately began talking bad about my boss and complaining and oh you know this that the other thing. And so what I did was I chose to focus on some good attributes that my boss had and to speak about those things and say, hey I appreciate this about the person, I appreciate that about the person, that kind of thing. And so immediately then they just like shut down, stop talking bad about my boss and that kind of thing. And then we arrive at our destination. Away we went. But you know focus on the things that you can speak well about them. Even if there’s things that they’re not good atz help them be successful. It’s part of honoring and respecting those authorities help your employer be successful. Help your boss be successful be a good worker. Again you’re not working for the Lord. You’re you’re working for God. Sometimes it’s really hard sometimes really hard to do because they make mistakes and they make decisions you don’t agree with. And and they can be jerks but God has put them in authority over us. We need to honor them and so speak well of them and work hard. Alright so what other authorities has got put in place over us also our pastors. Right. So we need to honor our pastors. How can we do that? And the authorities that that that are over us. There’s a couple of things serve and support our leadership received guidance and correction. Hebrews Chapter 13 God says remember your leaders who have spoken God’s word to you as you carefully observe the outcome of their life imitate their faith. And then later on that chapter Verse 17 Obey your leaders and submit to them since they keep watch over your souls as ones you have to give an account. And I know I know these pastors better than than most of you, maybe better than any of you. And I see their lives, I see their heart, their care for you, their care and concern for your lives and for the church. They’re pouring out their life to you and I want to follow them too. Right? And we’re just regular people as well trying to follow God and to lead as God directs. We make mistakes, we mess up and we hear about all of the difficult things. There’s all kinds of pressure difficulties and these guys are constantly laying down their lives for all of you uh in in the most difficult situations that you’re going through the greatest stress and pressures there right there with you. And it’s a difficult job. But Hebrew says to do so so that it’s a joy for them to honor their, you’re their authorities because that it will be a joy for them to lead the church. One of the most common reasons that pastors have to go on to disabilities because of mental health issues due to the stress and difficulty of what they deal with every day in seeking to help the people of the church and so on are your pastors serve receive guidance correction, seek to bless them, Help them follow with enthusiasm. And then lastly, honor God, he is the ultimate authority in her life, right? He is, he is the one who is above all. And we need to honor him as God in everything glorify him and all you do. I know one of my life goals, my life purpose. I what I want to do is I want to glorify God. That’s really in everything I want to live is that as people look at my life that they see God and they glorify God, not me. And so in work, in play, in life, in everything, seek to honor God. Why don’t you go forward there slide. Um first Corinthians 10 31 so whether you eat or drink whatever you do, do all for the glory of God, seek to know him, seek to obey his commands through the power of the Holy Spirit. Will talk about that more in a little bit and then proclaim him and his salvation to all as you do those things. It brings honor to God. He cares about this world. He gave his life for all of us. And so we want to proclaim him to all and to obey his commands. So there’s a couple of common questions as we bring two things to a close this morning That revolve this 5th commandment. You just heard me give you a bunch of practical things, right? So one question comes up is, okay, well what if what if these authorities or our parents are telling us to do something that we’re not sure is the right thing to do or even if it’s right at all, what do we do? But her parents are telling us something that’s contrary to what we know God would want us to do. So the, the answer to that is first and foremost, go to the scriptures. If you’re not sure what these authorities in your lives are telling you to do is right, go to the scriptures. God has revealed to us through this world right here. Um what is right and wrong? And this speaks to many, many, many subjects in life, right? And so that’s where you go first and foremost. And if there’s a conflict between what God says and what your boss says, if there’s a conflict between what God says and what your parents are saying, we must honor God first and foremost and do what he says. I remember melissa and I had these people in authority over us who sat us down when we were young parents and they, we’re very clear on what we should or shouldn’t do and what they were telling us was clearly contrary to the scriptures. And uh, and so we listened and heard them out and we said, thank you for your advice. And then we did not do what they told us to do because God told us clearly in the scriptures and it was very clear. Um and so so that’s the kind of example. But if it’s unclear if it’s ambiguous, if if it it’s not inconsistent with the scriptures, it’s a good idea to honor the authorities in your lives. But if you are unsure, first and foremost, search the scriptures because God is the heavenly father, He is the supreme authority in our lives and we need to do what he says. And then the last question is, okay, Ben, that’s great. Thanks for giving us all these practical things. Thanks for kind of laying that out. But that’s impossible. Can’t do that, right. How can I treat my boss? Who’s a jerk? How can I honor them? I can’t do it. How can I honor my dad who ran out on me? Can’t do it. How do I honor the authorities in my life? How do I obey? I can’t obey God. I try and I fail right. And the answer is that it is indeed impossible to obey these commands without the grace and power of God through the Gospel. It’s impossible. We desperately need the power of the Holy Spirit in order to be able to do these things. So the only way to carry out these practical applications, the only way to honor your father and mother, to honor the authorities in our lives. To honor your boss and to honor God. The only way is to be filled with the spirit. To surrender your life to God and to then have him come into your life through the Holy Spirit and to fill you with his grace, his power. You won’t be able to carry those things out unless you have him and his help through the power of the Holy Spirit. And so as you go through your day and as you look for opportunities to honor the authorities in your life, what you need to do is immediately ask God for help. Do so immediately ask God to fill you with the Holy Spirit so that you are able to do those things because you won’t be able to do so without his help. And then the great news is that as you do as you honor the authorities in your life. God pours out his blessing and it’s a tremendous blessing from God. This is the first command with the promise that it may go well with you. God upholds his promises. So let’s pray just to thank you so much, Lord for your word. And for these these commands, we thank you all the more for the power of the Holy Spirit, who you are able to help us carry these out And I just pray this week as we go forth, as we seek to honor the authorities in our lives, that you give us your help and power to do so in jesus name. Amen.